Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Some "Worth Repeatin'" taken from Callaway, NE Courier

Long bumper sticker:
Things I trust more than Hillary Clinton? 
A rattlesnake with a “pet me” sign. 
OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection. 
An elevator ride with Ray Rice. 
Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby. 
Michael Jackson’s doctor. 
An Obama nuclear deal with Iran. 
A Paliestinian on a motorcycle. 
Gas station sushi. 
A Jimmy Carter economic plan. 
Brian Williams news reports. 
Prayers for racial peace by Al Sharpton. 
Playing Russian Roulette with a semi-auto pistol. 
Emails from Nigerian princes. 
The Heimlich Maneuver from Barney Fran. 
A condom made in China. 
A prostate exam from Captain Hook. 
And finally, Bill Clinton at a Girl Scout convention. 

* * *****************************************************************
 Words from a pilot:
During a commercial airline flight an experienced Air Force pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items. When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, “That’s a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!” Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby’s ears. The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, “And all these years, I’ve been chewing gum.”

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