A jellyfish bad day

 

 

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. 

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below:

~Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't take a crap for two days because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

A tad of rain, still warm in August

84º and a little muggy with bright sunshine - had .3" rain in gauge this morning, which included a couple good sized bugs--maybe .25" rain overnight.

 A big and a little rabbit by the hedge at back of our lot.

Been 

getting some

tomatoes

from the back

yard.

The new Hospital's Therapy Building

has all the exterior windows & doors

on it.

Aired up the

tires on the pickup

and trailer, then

put about 10 gallons

of fresh water in trailer.

Should have full hook-up

in Macon, MO next

week, but carry a little.

Back yard.

What is a Pessimist?  The real-world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience.

What do you call a typo on headstone?  - A grave mistake.

Later, Lynn, st

You may not have known this about Martha Raye

 

It was well recognized that Martha Raye endured less comfort and more danger than any other Vietnam entertainer. Don't let the sun go down without reading this about Martha Raye.

The most unforgivable oversight of TV is that her shows were not taped.
I was unaware of her credentials or where she is buried. Somehow I just can't see Brittany Spears, Paris Hilton, or Jessica Simpson doing what this woman (and the other USO women, including Ann Margaret & Joey Heatherton) did for our troops in past wars.
Most of the old time entertainers were made of a lot sterner stuff than today's crop of activists bland whiners. The following is from an Army Aviator who takes a trip down memory lane:
"It was just before Thanksgiving '67 and we were ferrying dead and wounded from a large GRF west of Pleiku. We had run out of body bags by noon, so the Hook (CH-47 CHINOOK) was pretty rough in the back
All of a sudden, we heard a 'take-charge' woman's voice in the rear.
There was the singer and actress, Martha Raye, with a SF (Special Forces) beret and jungle fatigues, with subdued markings, helping the wounded into the Chinook, and carrying the dead aboard. ‘Maggie' had been visiting her SF 'heroes' out 'west'.
We took off, short of fuel, and headed to the USAF hospital pad at Pleiku.
As we all started unloading our sad pax's, a 'Smart Mouth' USAF Captain said to Martha,
“Ms Ray, with all these dead and wounded to process, there would not be time for your show!"
To all of our surprise, she pulled on her right collar and said,
“Captain, see this eagle? I am a full 'Bird' in the US Army Reserve, and on this is a 'Caduceus' which means I am a Nurse, with a surgical specialty, now, take me to your wounded!"
He said, "Yes ma'am. follow me."
Several times at the Army Field Hospital in Pleiku, she would 'cover' a surgical shift, giving a nurse a well-deserved break.
Martha is the only woman buried in the SF (Special Forces) cemetery at Ft Bragg.
Hand Salute! A great lady. I did not know this about Martha Ray. I thought you might like it.

Weekend gathering of family

 81º with mostly sunny sky here in Clarinda, IA at 3:00 PM on Sunday.

Family from eastern Iowa were here this weekend for funeral of our daughter-in-law Patty's father, Fred Baze.

Great Grandkids, Jessica and David were at our house Friday evening for a while.

Saturday morning we all went to the funeral here in Clarinda.

On the right above is Granddaughter Emily with Great Grandson David.  On the left is Emily's fiancé Derek.

The Baze family gathered at the community room at the Lied Center following the funeral for visiting and a lunch provided.  

At left is Grand Son-in-law Heath with our two grandkids, Jessica & David.

Photo at right is of the Baze clan.

Front row, seated, are Fred & Fern Bazes kids - Derek, Pam, Patty, and Jenny.

Last evening our family all came to our place for a meal.  Lots of visiting.

Fred had been an avid fisherman and Patty had gone with him many times.  This morning Patty, Jessica and Heath went to the river east of town where Fred had fished for years.  Heath did catch a good sized fish, but with no way to get it back home on the 5-hour drive, he put it back in the river.

Good visiting with the family.

Hey, I just took this photo at left off the deck.

Later, Lynn

The Little Red Hen.

This story is so true and even follows a Bible verse.

I don’t think anybody should be allowed to graduate from High School until they’ve read one of the most important literary classics of all time…The Little Red Hen. In the story, the little red hen finds a grain of wheat and asks the other barnyard animals “Who will help me plant the wheat?” The response “Not I” said the cat, “Not I” said the dog, “Not I” said the pig. So the Little Red Hen said “Then I will plant the seed myself” and she did.

At each later stage (harvest, threshing, milling and baking the flour to make bread) the hen asks the 3 animals for help in the process again, and at each stage the animals reply with the same response “Not I” said the cat, “Not I” said the dog, “Not I” said the pig.

At the final stage, when the hen has finally baked the bread, she asks “Now, who will help me eat the bread?” If you’ve heard the story before you know the end. But, I’m almost positive that they aren’t teaching this story in school anymore. The response? “No, you did not help me plant, nor help me harvest, nor help me mill, nor help me bake the bread” so the Little Red Hen ate the bread and gave it to her chicks.

I grew up with this story. Such a simple lesson on being a responsible individual and helping others. Modern society no longer embraces this kind of thinking it seems. “It doesn’t matter that you did not contribute to any of the work or preparation in making something successful…you still get to eat from the fruit of people’s labor.” This kind of thinking is wrong. It promotes laziness and slothfulness and the ultimate feeling of entitlement that we see in our world today.

So you see, this is why this story should be resurrected and taught to our children at very early ages…like it once was…like it was in the days when people were more responsible and understood “cause and effect” relationships. Yes, let’s revive this “Literary Classic” before it is too late!

“The story of the Little Red Hen has been retold many times. First published in 1874, this folk tale teaches children the value of hard work and self-reliance. In the story, a hen finds a seed of wheat, which she decides to plant in order to make bread. Though she seeks the help of other farm animals, they refuse, and the hen must do all the work herself. When the bread is finally made, the other animals wish to partake—but, because they did not help the hen along the way, they are refused the fruits of her labor. The story has been featured as part of the popular “Little Golden Books” series and as a Walt Disney animated film, The Wise Little Hen (1938).”

2 Thessalonians 3:10 Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: "Those unwilling to work will not get to eat."

 

 

 

Some rain!

77º with overcast skies at 6:30 pm Tuesday.  Had 2.75" rain overnight and into the morning.  Bright sunshine came out at noon. 

We had been really browning up with the high temperatures and no rain.

Well it is now 65º at 9:05 on Wednesday morning.  Got interrupted and didn't get back to this until now.

.This was just taken

of the front lawn.

A little color to it.

These three photos all taken

after the rain quit yesterday

and the sun came out.

Have been reading Jonathan Winter's Tales, a collection of one or two-page stories.  Got me interested in what else he had done.  Found many books, DVDs and CD/records he had made earlier.  Quite an interesting person.  Like another comedian, Red Skelton, he also painted and has quite a collection.  You can find numerous YouTube of his visits to The Johnny Carson Show.  He worked with a lot of other actors--passed away in 2013 at age of 87.

He had served in the Marines during WWII.  

CLICK HERE  for his life story on Wikipedia.

 A man was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get life imprisonment. His brother found out that an Irishman was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the Irishman that he would be paid £10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.  The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.  After the trial, the brother went to the Irish man's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the £10,000.  The Irishman replied, "It wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let him off."

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 Till next time, LCM

Cooler weather, for a bit in Iowa

 78º with clear skies in Clarinda at 10:30 am Wednesday -- predicted high of 90º.

Spent time last Saturday at Joyce and Loren Tornholm's place east of New Market, IA.  Phyllis' cousin Joyce had her 75th birthday earlier in the week and she had invited family members to gather for a lunch Saturday.

At right are Sue Sandahl, Paul and Eddie Taylor.  Sue is Joyce's daughter and they live in Johnston, IA.  Sue is an outpatient occupational therapist with On With Life in Ankeny, IA.

At right are Steve & Beth Gregory standing.  Beth is Phyllis' sister; they live in Clarinda.

At left is Judy Guthrie, Phyllis' cousin who lives in Clarinda.  Her granddaughter Kora (Scotties daughter) and Phyllis.

Lori Sleep, Phyllis' second cousin, and Judy Heuer's daughter, is in photo at right.

Lori Sleep, Kora Heuer, and Renessa, friend of Colton Sleep.

1

At left is Jerry Sleep (Lori's husband) with their son Colton and his friend.  The Sleeps live near Gravity, IA and Colton & friend live in Hamburg, IA.

Yesterday I

washed the

roof of our

travel trailer.

Still need to put some

sealer caulking on

a few places that have

dried out.

Monday we went to Omaha for 2-week Post-Op checkup with Orthopedic Surgeon following knee replacement surgery for Phyllis.  Got a real good report.  Have been doing the therapy over at the hospital 3 times a week and continuing to do therapy here at home.

CLICK HERE  for color changing card trick!

Well, this seems interesting---- The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).  In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy.  Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.  There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.  In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.  By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".  During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.  Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.

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A man ran home from work, pulled his wife into the bedroom, threw her on the bed, and pulled the blankets over them. She was shocked because he hadn’t been like this for 20 years. Then her husband said, “Look! My new watch glows in the dark!” 

-Until another time, Lynn  st